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Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem
more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner,"
Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the
Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley
Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be
messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign
of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished
silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black
background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written
by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The
She-Demon."

The Onion
		   http://www.theonion.com/archive/archive_nib.html

Tags: newnationalanthem jamesinhofe glenndanzig changingthenation nited gothicfont rhead auml merica umlauts blackbackground assed amp heavymetal demon cr tley washingtondc congress