Content tagged davidletterman
Quotes Collected
Sunday is Mother's Day ... The phone company says that Mother's Day is the busiest long-distance phoning day of the year. It's interesting, isn't it? … quotes/122
Michael Jackson is the polar opposite of President Clinton if you think about it. In many respects, Michael Jackson and President Clinton are diametrically … quotes/121
A California court has now sentenced Robert Downey Jr. six months in prison. Wow! I'm not sure what he did exactly, Robert Downey Jr., but apparently … quotes/119
It's a big week for the Clintons because I think in a couple of days Chelsea goes out west to Stanford University beginning her college career. It's kind … quotes/118
One night, the President of the United States, he and the First Family go to a nightclub. President Clinton is wacky, he's just wacky. And he gets up … quotes/117
The Jets won on Sunday, and the Giants won on Sunday. Pretty impressive. Coincidentally, Sunday, the temperature in hell was 32 degrees. -- David Letterman, … quotes/115
Oh my gosh, you know what it is here in New York City. This week is No-Sales Tax Week.' It's tax-free week. What it is: merchants are not charging sales … quotes/114
Word gets out now that President Clinton has been cheating at golf. It makes perfect sense to me because Martha's Vineyard is a very small island and … quotes/113
You know, President Clinton is on vacation now. You heard about this? President Clinton and his entire family are now on vacation in Martha's Vineyard … quotes/111
Reports now that Michael Jackson, or Jacko,' and his wife Debbie Rowe---she has walked out on him ... because Jacko spent the night with his former wife, … quotes/110
Here is my one big concern about the Tyson/Holyfield fight. I just hope that one ugly episode does not tarnish the good name of Don King. -- David Letterman, … quotes/102
Big scandal over there in Russia. The Minister of Justice has now been caught on videotape--you can fill in the blank here--having sex with prostitutes...It's … quotes/101
Let me get this straight: if you commit adultery, you can't be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff---but you can be Commander-in-Chief. Is that how … quotes/99
This just in, ladies and gentlemen---Dennis Rodman has received a technical foul from God. -- David Letterman, June 9--13, 1997 quotes/98
On this date, 100 years ago in history, do you know what happened? The first pizza was produced here in the United States ... 100 years ago. Wait a minute, … quotes/96
In a television interview over the weekend, O.J. Simpson was telling the person conducting the interview how difficult it is, how hard it is to be a single … quotes/95
O.J. Simpson now has been denied a second trial ... It's not all bad news for O.J. Simpson, though. The judge told O.J., he said, "Look, O.J., if you … quotes/93
For the second week in a row, "Anaconda" is the most popular movie in the United States and in honor of "Anaconda," the hookers in Times Square, god bless … quotes/92
All kidding aside, though, when you live here in New York City, you get pretty good exercise. You know what the "New York Chin-up" is, right? How many … quotes/91
I think now people are going to have to stop picking on Riddick Bowe because whether he quit, whether he was tossed out, it just doesn't make any difference. … quotes/90
Tonight, we here at the LATE SHOW are celebrating our 15th anniversary of being on late night television. And, I'm extra excited for this reason: because … quotes/89
The cab driver, though, actually was a lovely man ... He said this to me, and you can learn a lot from the cab drivers. "Dave," he says, "it's better … quotes/88
The city is saying now that it'll take three days for 600 Department of Sanitation workers to clean up that mess. I was shocked! I was stunned! New York … quotes/85
But, Kemp said he believes that the Dole campaign is really picking up momentum. Well, that makes sense. That's exactly what happens when things start … quotes/84
Sunday is week two of the 1996 NFL season and to commemorate the NFL season, the hookers in Times Square are offering the "New York Jets Defense Special." … quotes/83
Tony Randall is very excited about it. He says he's going to videotape the delivery of the baby, and I'm thinking, well, hell, Tony, come on! You should've … quotes/82
During the [Republican National] convention, the speeches are limited to ten minutes, or 50 lies, whichever comes first. -- David Letterman, August … quotes/81
I think somebody really ought to do the White House a favor. Explain to the White House, the staff members there, there is a difference between "drug … quotes/80
Bob Dole is now upset because people are doing jokes about the man being old and running for President...Bob Dole actually challenged me, he said, "Dave, … quotes/78
How do you feel about Bob Dole and his new image? About a week ago, Bob Dole announced that he was resigning his seat in the Senate effective June 19 … quotes/77
Bob Dole, in the press conference yesterday, said he's also going to stop that annoying habit he has of referring to himself in the third person. He's … quotes/74
O.J. Simpson was in New York City a couple of days ago, and last night, he went for a big steak dinner...Old habits die hard. I guess after the meal, … quotes/73
I've been hiking around the hills here in San Francisco. Until you come to this city and experience the hills, you have no idea of what we're talking … quotes/72
Four years ago this day, "Take Your Daughter to Work Day," was started by a very, very alert Ted Kennedy when he was caught coming out of his Senate office … quotes/71
Last week, the Don King fraud trial ended in a mistrial. If it's any consolation for prosecutors, Don King already looks like he's been in the electric … quotes/67
They're expecting dignitaries here in New York from around the world this weekend, and it's already getting out of hand. Last night six diplomats from … quotes/54
Earlier tonight, Cal Ripken Jr. played in his 2,131st consecutive game, breaking Lou Gehrig's 56 year-old record. To put that achievement into perspective, … quotes/49
There are reports that supermodel Claudia Schiffer and magician David Copperfield are expecting a baby. So, once again, people will be asking Copperfield, … quotes/44
Last night President Clinton went on TV to present his plan for a balanced budget. I think to Clinton a balanced budget means spending as much on Big … quotes/43
Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley were on with Diane Sawyer on "Primetime Live" and they actually said that they do share a bed. He gets it Monday, … quotes/42
There's a guy who works on Broadway; he's a street magician. Using only a coat hanger, the guy made a 95 Lexus disappear. -- David Letterman quotes/41
When the gloves didn't fit O.J., he turned to Robert Shapiro and said, "Hey, maybe I didn't do it!" -- David Letterman quotes/40
I was in the Fashion Cafe last night and I had the Kate Moss Steak. I said put that on my credit card ... and it fit. -- David Letterman quotes/37
Kato Kaelin [OJ Simpson's permanent houseguest] was back on the stand again today. I understand that in just a little over one day of testimony, Kaelin … quotes/7
It's spring in New York and all the vendors came out. I saw one in Central Park today with a sign over his grill that said, "Squirrel, The Other White … quotes/6
