The “Peaceful Progression Smoke Alarm” from The Onion: awake to sounds of the rainforest; snooze capable. (A $7.99 empty gift box.) gulfstream/2490
“Plan To Straighten Out Entire Life During Weeklong Vacation Yields Mixed Results.” Letter to the editor: I sympathise… gulfstream/1922
(Podcastable) Radio News from The Onion. e.g. “Report: Lab Monkeys 96 Percent More Likely To Use Cocaine Than Those In Wild.” gulfstream/1960
Beaver Overthinking Dam: “After much thought, Messner decided to reconstruct the anterior section of the dam with poplar wood on Tuesday, after he finished … gulfstream/2062
“Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence”: “... Little did such founding fathers as George Washington, George Jefferson, and ***ERIC … gulfstream/2124
“Despite sprinting through the Andrews Air Force Base south terminal, President Bush narrowly missed his Air Force One flight to Boise earlier today … gulfstream/2171
Kansas Outlaws Practice of Evolution: “Violators of the new law may face punishments that include jail time, stiff fines, and rehabilitative education … gulfstream/2197
*The Onion* moves to New York. Also includes intriguing, stirring, mention of "heavy metal karaoke [sessions] at Arlene Grocery on the Lower … gulfstream/389
Onion’s Magnetic Headline Kit. Gives you Area, Man, Clinton, Masturbate, Shittier, etc. gulfstream/941
Mad Magazine parody of The Onion. (According to jwz, Mad was provoked.) gulfstream/963
“Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy.” Actually the entire Onion is pretty good this week, right down to the Guide to Prescription-Drug Safety. (“If … gulfstream/1092
Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts WASHINGTON, DCIn a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal … quotes/255