# Things that Happened Today

Things I did today: I joined the gym.

(My limbs are sore.)

Things I overheard today: I heard a guy say to a girl, “I really like
your last name. I’m completely serious. Your last name is fucking
unreal.”

(I do not know what the girl’s name was.)

Things I saw today: I saw a guy walking down the street bearing a white
card that declared his willingness to tell five jokes in return for a
dollar.

<div align="center">

![](wp-content/uploads/2008/05/1999-11-20_jokes1.jpg)

</div>

(One joke involved a walrus going to a Tupperware party to pick up a
tight seal. Another involved a girl with a bruise on her forehead; the
girl and her boyfriend were doing it “doggy style”–she ran under the
house and knocked her head on a beam.)

Another thing happened today too, but I’d rather not talk about it.