By Lewis Carroll.
“Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice…
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter ii
“… Edwin and Morcar', the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable---'" "Found _what_?" said the Duck. "Found _it_," the Mouse replied rather crossly: "of course you know what it’ means.”
“I know what `it’ means well enough, when I find a thing,” said the
Duck: “it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
archbishop find?”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter iii
The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She’ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, I wonder?
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter iv
… then, saying to herself “This is Bill,” she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. The first thing she heard was a general chorus of “There goes Bill!” then the Rabbit’s voice alone—“Catch him, you by the hedge!” then silence, and then another confusion of voices—“Hold up his head—Brandy now—Don’t choke him—How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell us all about it!” Last came a feeble, squeaking void. (“That’s Bill,” thought Alice), “Well, I hardly know — No more, thank ye; I’m better now—but I’m a deal too flustered to tell you—all I know is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter iv
“Who are You?” said the Caterpillar.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter v
For a minute or two she stood looking the house, and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood—(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a fish)—and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said the Footman, “and that for two reasons. First, because I’m on the same side of the door as you are. Secondly, because they’re making such a noise inside, no one could possible hear you.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“Please would you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, “why your cat grins like that?” “It’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess, “and that’s why. Pig!”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “chop off her head!”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:—
“Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes: He only does it to annoy, Because he knows it teases.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where—” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. “—so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation. “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“I wish you wouldn’t keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy!” “All right,” said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life!”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vi
“… you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.
“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what I
say—that’s the same thing, you know.”
“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “Why, you might just as
well say that I see what I eat' is the same thing as I eat what I
see’!”
“You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that I like what I get' is the same as I get what I like’!”
“You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, which seemed to be
talking in its sleep, “that I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as I sleep when I breathe’!”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vii
“What day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and then said, “The fourth.” “Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!” he added, looking angrily at the March Hare. “It was the best butter,” the March Hare meekly replied. “Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,” the Hatter grumbled: “you shouldn’t have put it in with the bread knife.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vii
“The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vii
“Once upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse began in a great hurry; “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well—” “What did they live on?” said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. “They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two. “They couldn’t have done that, you know,” Alice gently remarked. “They’d have been ill.” “So they were,” said the Dormouse, “very ill.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vii
“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. “I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone: “so I can’t take more.” “You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vii
“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think—” “Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter vii
“Would you tell me, please,” said Alice, a little timidly, “why you are painting those roses?” Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in a low voice, “Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and, if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know…”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter viii
Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life: it was all ridges and furrows: the croquet balls were live hedgehogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter viii
The executioner’s argument was, that you couldn’t cut off a head unless there was a body to cut if off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin at his time of life.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter viii
“Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?” “No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.” “It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,” said the Queen.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter ix
“When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, “we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle—we used to call him Tortoise—” “Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’t one?” Alice asked. “We called him Tortoise because he taught us,” said the Mock Turtle angrily. “Really you are very dull!”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter ix
“And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject. “Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle: “nine the next, and so on.” “What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice. “That’s the reason they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked: “because they lessen from day to day.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter ix
“When did you begin?” The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. “Fourteenth of March, I think it was,” he said. “Fifteenth,” said the March Hare. “Sixteenth,” said the Dormouse. “Write that down,” the King said to the jury; and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter xi
Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter xii
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. “Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?” he asked. “Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter xii
“Let the jury consider their verdict,” the Kind said, for about the twentieth time that day. “No, no!” said the Queen. “Sentence first—verdict afterwards.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Chapter xii
Somehow it [Jabberwocky] seems to fill my head with ideas—only I don’t exactly know what they are! However, somebody killed something: that’s clear, at any rate—
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter i
Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, as well as she could, that she had lost her way. “I don’t know what you mean by your way,” said the Queen: “all the ways about here belong to me—but why did you come out here at all?” she added in a kinder tone. “Curtsey while you’re thinking what to say. It saves time.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter ii
“I only wanted to see what the garden was like, your Majesty—”
“That’s right,” said the Queen, patting her on the head, which Alice
didn’t like at all: “though, when you say garden'---_I've_ seen gardens, compared with which this would be a wilderness." Alice didn't dare to argue the point, but went on: "---and I thought I'd try and find my way to the top of that hill---" "When you say hill,'” the Queen interrupted, “I could show you
hills, in comparison with which you’d call that a valley.”
“No, I shouldn’t,” said Alice, surprised into contradicting her at
last: “a hill can’t be a valley, you know. That would be nonsense—”
The Red Queen shook her head. “You may call it `nonsense’ if you
like,” she said, “but I’ve heard nonsense, compared with which that
would be as sensible as a dictionary!”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter ii
Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that.
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter ii
“What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you come from?” the Gnat inquired. “I don’t rejoice in insects at all,” Alice explained, “because I’m rather afraid of them—at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the names of some of them.” “Of course they answer to their names?” the Gnat remarked carelessly. “I never knew them do it.” “What’s the use of their having names,” the Gnat said, “if they won’t answer to them?” “No use to them,” said Alice; “but it’s useful to the people that name them, I suppose…”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter iii
They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other’s
neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of them
had DUM' embroidered on his collar, and the other DEE.’
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter iv
“If you think we’re wax-works,” he said, “you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren’t made to be looked at for nothing. Nohow!” “Contrariwise,” added the one marked `DEE.’ “if you think we’re alive, you ought to speak.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter iv
That’s the effect of living backwards," the Queen said kindly: “it always makes one a little giddy at first—” “Living backwards!” Alice repeated in great astonishment. “I never heard of such a thing!” “—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s memory works both ways.” “I’m sure mine only works one way,” Alice remarked. “I can’t remember things before they happen.” “It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,” the Queen remarked.
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter v
“… Let’s consider your age to begin with—how old are you?” “I’m seven and a half, exactly.” “You needn’t say `exactually,'” the Queen remarked. “I can believe it without that. Now I’ll give you something to believe. I’m just one hundred and one, five months and a day.” “I can’t believe that!” said Alice. “Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.” Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was you age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter v
“And how exactly like an egg he is!” she said aloud, standing with her hands ready to catch him, for she was every moment expecting him to fall. “It’s very provoking,” Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke, “to be called an egg,—very!”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
“… tell me your name and your business.” “My name is Alice, but—” “It’s a stupid name enough!” Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently. “What does it mean?” “Must a name mean something?” Alice asked doubtfully. “Of course it must,” Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: “my name means the shape I am—and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you might be any shape, almost.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
“I mean,” she said, “that one can’t help growing older.” “One can’t, perhaps,” said Humpty Dumpty; “but two can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
“It’s a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It’s a present from the White King and Queen. There now!” [ … ] “They gave it me,” Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, “they gave it me—for an unbirthday present.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master–that’s all.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
“Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called `Jabberwocky’?” “Let’s hear it,” said Humpty Dumpty. “I can explain all the poems that ever were invented—and a good many that haven’t been invented just yet.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
"In winter, when the fields are white, I sing this song for your delight—
only I don’t sing it," he added, as an explanation. “I see you don’t,” said Alice. “If you can see whether I’m singing or not, you’ve sharper eyes than most,” Humpty Dumpty remarked severly.
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
I told them once, I told them twice: They would not listen to advice.
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vi
And I haven’t sent the two Messengers, either. The’re both gone to the town. Just look along the road, and tell me if you can see either of them." “I see nobody on the road,” said Alice. “I only with I had such eyes,” the King remarked in a fretful tone. “To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance too! Why, it’s as much as I can do to see real people, by this light!”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vii
“I beg your pardon?” said Alice. “It isn’t respectable to beg,” said the King.
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vii
“There’s nothing like eating hay when you’re faint,” he remarked to her, as he munched away. “I should think throwing cold water over you would be better,” Alice suggested: “—or some sal-volatile.” “I didn’t say there was nothing better,” the King replied. “I said there was nothing like it.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vii
“Who did you pass on the road?” the King went on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some more hay. “Nobody,” said the Messenger. “Quite right,” said the King: “this young lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than you.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vii
“What—is—this?” he said at last. “This is a child!” Haigha replied eagerly, coming in front of Alice to introduce her, and spreading out both his hands towards her in an Anglo-Saxon attitude. “We found it to-day. It’s as large as life, and twice as natural!”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter vii
“Is it very long?” Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day. “It’s long,” said the Knight, “but it’s very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it—either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else—” “Or else what?” said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause. “Or else it doesn’t, you know…”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter viii
“Can you do Addition?” the White Queen asked. “What’s one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?” “I don’t know,” said Alice. “I lost count.” “She can’t do Addition,” the Red Queen interrupted.
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter ix
Here the Red Queen began again. “Can you answer useful questions?” she said. “How is bread made?” “I know that!” Alice cried eagerly. “You take some flour—” “Where do you pick the flower?” the White Queen asked. “in a garden or in the hedges?” “Well, it isn’t picked at all,” Alice explained: “it’s ground—” “How many acres of ground?” said the White Queen. “You mustn’t leave out so many things.”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter ix
“Where’s the servant whose business it is to answer the door?” she began angrily. “Which door?” said the Frog. Alice almost stamped with irritation at the slow drawl in which he spoke. “This door, of course!” The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute: then he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were trying whether the paint would come off: then he looked at Alice. “To answer the door?” he said. “What’s it been asking of?”
— Through the Looking-Glass Chapter ix