Things that Happened Today

20 November 1999

Things I did today: I joined the gym.

(My limbs are sore.)

Things I over­heard today: I heard a guy say to a girl, “I really like your last name. I’m com­pletely serious. Your last name is fucking unreal.”

(I do not know what the girl’s name was.)

Things I saw today: I saw a guy walking down the street bearing a white card that de­clared his will­ing­ness to tell five jokes in return for a dollar.

(One joke in­volved a walrus going to a Tup­per­ware party to pick up a tight seal. Another in­volved a girl with a bruise on her forehead; the girl and her boyfriend were doing it “doggy style”–she ran under the house and knocked her head on a beam.)

Another thing hap­pened today too, but I’d rather not talk about it.