Things that Happened Today
20 November 1999
Things I did today: I joined the gym.
(My limbs are sore.)
Things I overheard today: I heard a guy say to a girl, “I really like your last name. I’m completely serious. Your last name is fucking unreal.”
(I do not know what the girl’s name was.)
Things I saw today: I saw a guy walking down the street bearing a white card that declared his willingness to tell five jokes in return for a dollar.
(One joke involved a walrus going to a Tupperware party to pick up a tight seal. Another involved a girl with a bruise on her forehead; the girl and her boyfriend were doing it “doggy style”–she ran under the house and knocked her head on a beam.)
Another thing happened today too, but I’d rather not talk about it.