LATELY — 3 December 1999

It Really Hasn't Been a Good Week

Yes­ter­day was one of those days whose every detail seemed to magnify the dif­fer­ence between the hap­pi­ness fondly re­mem­bered from one’s past, and the misery felt now.

It has been one of those weeks where sleep comes with difficulty, smiling hurts, and food is chewed far beyond the physiologically-necessary point, because one simply forgets to swallow. A week where every brittle object cried out to be vi­o­lently broken–cups, plates, bottles to be hurled against walls, roads, trees.

But I am too prag­matic to break crock­ery in anger. What would it achieve? There have been two victims of this crime, but no perpetrators.

I need to stop this wallowing.