LATELY — 4 April 2000

Making Like a Weblog

Allow me to make like a weblog for a moment:

Holy FUCK! Check out what’s happened to McSweeney’s! This is terrible! We must do something. Someone needs to round up the well regulated Militia, and fast.

Some questions that have been bothering me:

  1. Did the USA give France anything in return for the Statue of Liberty? (Note: Responses that begin “Well, one June day in ’44 …” will not be accepted.)
  2. Are donkeys actually good for anything these days?
  3. Should you make a special effort to do your hair nice when going to the hairdresser, even if you just got up and they’re going to mess with it anyway? I mean, will they take more care if they see that you care? Or should I just not care whether they care or not?
  4. Should I drop a ridiculous amount of money for a decent digital camera? Especially when the same amount of money would buy an excellent SLR. Alternatively, is it really important that I have a digital camera?

(Wild) tips and predictions:

  1. China will probably be a democracy by 2015. At least by 2020. It will be relatively peaceful (as was the case with the U.S.S.R.) and Taiwan will not be involved.
  2. “they” will become the accepted gender-neutral third person singular pronoun. “s/he”, “he/she” and “he or she” are too awkward. And there’s no chance of a new word being adopted. English has not adopted any new pronouns or prepositions for centuries. (Meanwhile, those who gratuitously use “she” in places where the sex of the referent has not been established will continue to shit me. I never did assume you were referring to a male; your attempt at mental jujitsu is not appreciated!)
  3. The coming decade will be known as “the naughties” if anything at all.
  4. The “www.” prefix will disappear from URLs within two years. It shouldn’t really take this long, but people who should know better are dragging their heels.

Music suitable for a Sunday morning:

  • Natalie Merchant, Tigerlily or Ophelia.
  • Joni Mitchell, Turbulent Indigo.
  • The Paradise Motel, Flight Paths.