Yet Another Review That Does Not Contain the Word 'Pirates'

15 March 2000

In Which the Author Goes a Little Funny in the Head

(To set the scene: Dave Eggers, whom we love (although it must be ad­mit­ted that his celebrity is getting se­ri­ously out of hand), invited readers to submit fan­ci­ful reviews of his book to The review below is one I submitted, al­though it never made it on to Amazon. (Amazon played along for a while, but even­tu­ally began re­ject­ing all “creative” reviews.) Which is perhaps a good thing, because I was clearly in a very strange (and pos­si­bly not very funny) mood when I wrote it. Nevertheless, I present it here, because I do not like to waste things.)

Yet Another Review That Does Not Contain the Word “Pirates”
Reviewer: Michael Still­well from Melbourne, Aus­tralia

I was 23 years old when I started reading this book and when I fin­ished it I was 23 years old too. It’s just that kind of book. You can read it many, many times and not get any older. Or taller, even. Most books you come across these days make you taller. I hate it when they do that. It’s really sneaky of them, don’t you think? I know I do. But this book, by Mr. Dave Eggers, will not make you taller. That’s why I like this book, A Heart­break­ing Work of Stag­ger­ing Genius, by Mr. Dave Eggers. Also, on page 43, there is a de­scrip­tion of a Swedish man, who buys a small box of red pencils for his kid sister, that is very moving. The End.